Attack of the Cuddle Monster

Tonight, I'm going to get a little tangental. I'm not dealing with a proper monster; maybe kind of like cookie monster. It's somewhat relevant because I'm dealing with something that really freaks some people out. Officially, the topic is personal space with particular attention being paid to its role in interpersonal relationships, but from here on out, in the spirit of the season, its nom de guerre shall be known as the Cuddle Monster. I don't really know what got me thinking about this. Maybe it's just some kind of cosmic energy with it being the autumnal equinox and all, maybe it's because Fall gets me kind of twitterpated, or maybe it just happened for no damn reason at all.

This little bugger is a crafty beast. It has no one singular corporeal form, it instead appears in a different form to each person. It can be anything from an unwanted kiss, to a forced hug, to anyone stepping within 18 inches of you. Let's face it: people are kinda particular about their personal space. What is it that makes us so defensive about our little bubble? Of course, the only person I can speak for is myself, so why not use me as an empirical baseline to be used in all future research?

Having said this, I'm pretty liberal when it comes to other people touching me. I remember once hearing a beauty pageant question that went along the lines of, "Which of the five senses could you absolutely not live without?" Although I wasn't in the running, although I should have been, I immediately came up with an answer that I always have with me in case the issue comes up.

"I could not, would not, live without my sense of touch. To never feel a balmy summer breeze, the embrace of a child, or the gentle kiss of a loved one is a life incomplete, lacking that most fundamental elements of happiness, the ability to feel good from the smallest of God's gifts."

*applause applause* I get the crown.

I for the most part welcome friendly touching, especially from members of the fairer sex. There isn't a lot that I won't let a woman do to me...well, almost...pending certain laws and public statutes...plus you have to remember that Jesus is watching. Anyways, I suppose my comfortability stems from the fact that I had very warm, physically affectionate parents growing up, so it's what I know. I can see others having more distant parents, so physical closeness makes them uncomfortable, or it could be rebellion against over-affectionate parents. I have to laugh when I see a couple like this. They love each other, but the closest they ever come to expressing it is a fist pound. I kind of like to pretend that once you find a good enough person, you'll want to be all cuddly, as gross and annoying that it is.

As much as I actually like the Cuddle Monster, I hate it when he rears his head in public. I have the same opinion of new love that I do of drug users: you have your right to do what makes you feel good, but do it away from me or suffer the consequences. Sorry folks, a salud to the fact that you're getting laid, but keep it out of my face.

So in conclusion, I guess depending who you are, the Cuddle Monster can either be a fearsome beast with the potential to make you incredibly uncomfortable, or more in the vein of Grover, a cute, if sometimes annoying, little fuzzy dude that can make your day.