Pooh For Brains

In honor of the new Winnie the Pooh book that is out this month, I would like to conduct my own moving tribute to one of our favorite childhood icons. Well…tribute may not be the best word; it’s more like a new interpretation that shatters any saccharine notions of nostalgia that may still be lingering in your skull jelly. I have a theory that the whole Winnie the Pooh thing is actually a study in psychology. Christopher Robin (CR) is the central figure of the whole affair, and I believe that each of the Hundred Acre Wood inhabitants is actually a metaphor for some part of Christopher’s damaged psyche. I present the evidence:

Winnie the Pooh - The biggest character and perhaps the most dominant of Robin’s neuroses. He is fat, lazy, stupid, and focused only obtaining honey. Pooh is the reptile brain, the most basic and instinctual part of our brain and is concerned only with instinctual drives and self-preservation. Pooh is the most benign personality and as a result is the go-to personality for the young boy whose fractured mind is a maelstrom of severe psychological maladies.

Tigger – Tigger is in part of an extension of the Pooh personality. Tigger is just as basic as Pooh, but where the bear is slow and passive, the bouncing tig[g]er is active and behaves in a manner that defies any sort of outside constraint. Today, he might be diagnosed as the personification of ADHD, but I choose to interpret Tigger as the child’s id; raw and impatient passion that does what he wants when he wants. He is also an extension of the child’s still forming libido. If CR were a few years older, Tigger would probably be bouncing around raping the shit out of anything that was slower than him.

Piglet – CR’s low self-worth is embodied by the diminutive, stuttering pig in a sweater. Piglet is unsure of himself and lives in his grandfather’s house, clearly an indication that CR feels pressure from his family who impose unrealistic standards on the child. The Piglet personality is unable to make any decisions and values himself too little to ever try and make something of himself, leading to a cyclical self-fulfilling prophecy of failure.

Eeyore – Just as Tigger is the mirror of Pooh, so too is Eeyore to Piglet. Whereas Piglet is in a constant state of anxiety over his inability, Eeyore instead has descended into a depression deep enough to reach the point of apathy. A diet of thistles and a tail that needs to be nailed back on indicates a tendency toward masochistic behavior, perhaps as a form of self-inflicted punishment as a result of poor self-esteem.

Kanga – This is the CR’s largely dormant anima, or female side. Here it is presented as a maternal figure as the mother is perhaps the only female influence in his life. The fact that she is a kangaroo is interesting in that her pouch allows for the juvenile Roo personality to retreat there whenever the harshness of life becomes too unbearable. This unhealthy attachment to his mother will either be outgrown once the child matures, or it will become a separate but dominant personality in the vein of Norman Bates.

Roo – Roo is perhaps the simplest of CR’s emotional avatars. He is largely the manifestation of CR’s immature personality and desires. His friendship with Tigger is tied to a child’s innate tendency toward chaos and lack of control, yet he is helpless without the Kanga figure. As CR matures, the Roo personality should gradually become less and less prominent, indicated by Roo’s second-string status among the characters in the story.

Rabbit – This character is a more mature expression of the neuroses expressed by the Piglet personality. Rabbit is an agitated perfectionist and is easily distraught by change or dominant personalities such as Tigger. The strong desire towards the status quo and disdain of extreme passion with overtones of OCD seems to show that CR is the victim of abuse, most likely by an alcoholic father.

Owl – The wisdom and malapropism of Owl are the representations of CR’s shaky intellectual abilities. Although much respected by the other personalities, this is only because of their own ignorance and failure to recognize that much of the information presented is false. This is CR’s main source of empowerment, but its overall lack of solid grounding will result in confidence without any skills to reinforce it. The colloquial term for this type of behavior is “douchebag.”

Heffalumps and Woozles – I group these two together because they are different expressions of the same psychological themes. Unseen and mostly regarded as dangerous beasts, these two abstract creatures are perhaps the most frightening aspect of CR’s personality. This is a warped perspective on the abuse hinted at by the Rabbit personality. The difference being that the horrors of the abuse itself have been almost completely suppressed in the mind’s effort at self-preservation. Importantly, the phallic nature of the Woozle in particular may hint at sexual abuse. If the Heffalumps and Woozles were to gain control, CR would undoubtedly descend into extreme psychosis and potentially dangerous behavior, both to the child and to others.


There is my case. Lock up that kid and give me my Nobel Prize please!

Personal Note: Yes, I'm posting once a month now. You don't like it, deal with it for now. I'm a busy man.