Life's a Pound, Baby

Everyone since you were four years old every grown-up tells you not to judge or label people because it is not an adequate reflection of who he or she is as a person. While fundamentally this is true, there is no denying that sometimes a label just...fits. Sometimes too well. Besides, is a label still negative even if it carries no inherent moral judgement?

I ponder these things because I like to play a little game with myself when I meet people. I can judge within less than a minute of meeting someone that they are one of two things: a cat or a dog. These words are wide definitions that are little more than an entertaining way for me to dertermine a particular personality. The best way that I can explain my rationelle behind each choice is that I look at a person and then see if they were to die and be reincarnated, which animal would he/she be? I don't have a checklist, there is no consitency in my decisions, it just happens when it happens. It's like when you look at someone and decide if he or she is beautiful. It's kinda like that, only without the weird quasi-sexual component; that would just be too far. If cats and dogs do that for you, whatever, I don't judge, just don't do it within the perceptual range of any of my five senses. That's all I have to say about buggering house pets.

Now then, back to the subject at hand. The more common people that I encounter are dogs. In fact, I would say that 80-85% of the people I meet are dogs. These dogs are not the same as women who say, "Honey, all men are dogs!" Dogs are Man's best friend. You can see it in the eyes. Not all dogs are outgoing, excitible, or loyal, I try to avoid such stereotypes. Dogs can be a lot of fun, but can also be really annoying. They can be loud or quiet. They can be so cute that you simply want to die, or so pug fugly that you can't help but laugh. This diversity of dogs is very likely due to the fact of the sheer volume of different dog breeds, so this translates well into human differences. Dogs also tend to have more obvious personalities and demeanors. Of course, I am only limited to this country. I have an untested theory that there are fewer dogs on other continents, especially Europe.

Cats are a bit more what you would expect a cat to be. I also tend to see more women as cats (insert you own pussy joke here; I have more class than that, at least for tonight). They tend to be more quiet, introspective, but not necessarily anti-social. They are usually a bit more independent and can come off as stand-offish to those not willing to give them a chance. Cats are more subtle and tend to hold theor cards a little closer to their chests.

There you have it. Cats and Dogs, the two fundamental factions of human society. Just for the record, I don't prefer one or the other. I date both and have been best friends with both so it really doesn't make much of a difference to me which one you are. I have yet to find a person that can evade my flawless labeling. You can only be one or the other; never both, and never neither.

Oh, and for the record, I'm a dog.