What the Hex Going On?

A rare twofor today, but I have to get this out in the hope the maybe someone out there will have a solution. You see, I have been cursed. Some cosmic being has decided to jerk me around for shits and giggles. The last twenty-four hours have been one thing after another, leading to a day of bad luck that can only explained by some kind of bad juju, and it's starting to freak me out a little. Let me explain my day...

It started on a decidedly sour note. I had a little tiff with a friend of mine the previous night, and you know when they say don't go to bed angry? They were right on the nose. I could hardly sleep; tossing and turning and sweating like I had a fever that was breaking. By the time my alarm went off, I was too tired to even utter my usual early morning chain of swear words. Not only was I not rested, I was still mad. I don't know if anyone out there has ever actually woken up mad, but it's a weird sensation. You're super pissed and feel like crap, but it takes you a second to remember why. So these feelings loom over me for most of the morning, making me unable to focus in class, and eventually, I resolved to forego the rest of my classes and take a mental health day. Realistically, I was only missing one class, and I had the notes for it already, so it was no great loss.

Following a rage-fueled drive home (always good for the body and mind), I made it home and immediately started working to raise my spirits. I went through a little routine that always perks me up, and before I knew it, I was full of forgiveness and cheerfulness and thought that I had this crappy day licked, that is until I left again to do some errands. All I wanted to do was go to the bank, mail a bill, and get my broken watch looked at, that's all. How could I have possibly forseen the threat that loomed after me next? I mean, who wakes up and prepares themselves for an automobile collision with an oven. Yes, an oven, as in I drove my car into an oven as I was leaving. To make things clear, "oven" is not some code word for deer, I literally mean a kitchen appliance used for baking. I didn't even see it coming; it just jumped out at me from behind a bush or something. I'm seriously considering sending a very angry letter to the Missouri Department of Conservation about the growing problem of wild ovens popping up in the suburbs and being a nuisance. So I hit this oven and have to stop and drag it to the side of the road and sweep up all of the broken glass from the shattered front observation window. Once everything was cleaned up, I proceeded to do my errands with a new dent and streak of white oven paint on the side of my car. Joy.

I return for dinner, and proceed to break a plate, a rather sturdy plate mind you, as I was dishing it out. It was at this point that I started to think that something was a bit off. I do not have days that are this bad. Somebody must have cursed me somewhere. I'm hesitant to do anything now for fear of it backfiring and resulting in me breaking something else. So if anyone has a solution for curing me of this spiritual malady, let me know. I've already prayed, lit a candle, performed a tarot reading, consulted a ouija board, and sacrificed a bull, a goat, and two chickens. Any other pointers out there?