In Hoc Signo Vinces, Suckers

The holidays are here again, and there is a certain magic in the air. I can't quite describe it, but it feels like I need to go out and help my fellow man. So that's what I'm gonna do! How will I do it, you ask? Why, through the gifts of understanding and insight, with just a pinch of my perverse desire to destroy people's preconceptions of reality, of course.

Merry Xmas to everyone out there. Yes, I said "Xmas", not "Christmas", but I could have because they mean the exact same thing. Yep, how many times have you seen people write one or the other and then attempt to justify themselves.

"I always write 'Christmas' because I want to remind people what this season is really about." I guess the true meaning of Christmas is apparently correct spelling. Sorry, Linus, I guess you better put the blanket down and rethink your life.

or,

"'Xmas' is better because it is not exclusive to Christians, so more people can enjoy it."

Of course, these two views will bicker back in forth over which one is more appropriate for the season. Ok, you two, settle down, have a seat, warm up some Orville-Redenbacher, and listen to my warm tale of holiday tradition. To start off with, you're both wrong. Especially you, Mr. Secular-Pants.

Here's a little religious history for you folks. One of the earliest symbols used by the Christian cult (yes, in its infancy it was a cult, get over it) was a little thing called the Chi Rho.

Pretty, isn't it? "Chi" and "Rho" are the Greek letters for "X" and "R" and also happen to be the first two letters in the original redition of "Christos" or as you probably know it, "Christ". This symbol has been around since the third century, and Constantine made it the Nike swoosh of the fourth century Roman Empire.

So, to summarize: in Greek, "Christ" starts with an "X", so semantically, Xmas and Christmas mean the exact same thing. In fact, Xmas might even be a little more pious as it is more faithful to the roots of the Church. Feel duped yet?

So why the confusion anyway? It's because people don't do their homework, or at least not the right assignment. Spend a little less time focusing on Algebra where "X" is a blank interger and try cracking a History book next time. I'm not saying that all people need to just get over themselves and celebrate Christmas, because that's rediculous. Who would work on December 25th? What it does show is that this whole PC sensitive-to-all-people-at-all-times is pretty much a crock of shit. You don't like Xmas? Then don't celebrate it! Just don't try to neuter it because it makes you more comfortable. You can't cut Jesus's balls off, he'll just heal them, and probably make them bigger and made of brass so that he'll have no scruples about kicking your ass for trying it in the first place. And don't think he won't do it because he's Jesus. That whole "turn the other cheek" thing is just a way to make his aiming easier.